relection on death and illness

If you didn't see President Hinckley's funeral, go here. I expected to cry my eyes out, but I didn't. Okay, well I lost it for a few minutes at the beginning before the funeral actually started and we saw the apostles lining the corridors paying their last tribute as the casket was brought forward and during the last song when they started showing pictures while the MTC was singing. But the rest of the funeral was inspiring and uplifting just like the prophet himself. I am glad I took the time to watch it. I also enjoyed the "extras" that we got while we waited for everyone to get to the graveside.

It got me to thinking about my funeral, so here is what I want:
1. Someone to sing "The King of Love My Shepard Is" by Mack Wilberg. For Men's Choir, Flutes, Harp or Piano. Published by Oxford University Press. I'd like the BYU Men's Choir, but that isn't very realistic so I'll cope.
2. I'd like my grandkids to sing several songs from the Primary Hymnbook all about the Savior. Actually, my great grandkids might have to do it because I was just thinking that my grandkids will be in their 40's and 50's by then and that might seem a little odd.
3. I want to die at home like President Hinckley surrounded by family. I DO NOT want to go to a hospital or a hospital-like institution ever. If I get so that I am a danger to myself or others, take me to the top of a high mountain and leave me there. It would be more humane than putting me in a hospital. And I just want my family to know that I WILL be mad at them for all eternity if they don't honor this request.

When I was younger, I didn't plan on dying at all. I planned to be changed "in the twinkling of an eye", which is actually still my first preference. After my accident, I realized how precious and fragile life is. Everyday is a gift and I still have a moment of letdown--a mini mourning at the end of everyday...I'm sad to see it go. I don't expect to be dying anytime soon because when I received my "back to school" blessing this year, the Lord, via my husband, told me that I was going to be around for a very long time, which I was quite happy to know! So, family, just file this blog away to be used in the far and distant future.

I was ill this week. My girls will tell you that I am the least sympathetic mom on the planet. When they were sick as children, I told them to go to their rooms and not come out until they were well. Sometimes, I would toss some food through the door if it was wanted. I remember one time when Tricia and Cherylyn got chickenpox together. I think they were 12 and 8. I looked at them and said, take care of each other, and they did. I know that they got chickenpox from Melanie and I think that we called them Tommypox? because she got them from a boy in her class at school, which just totally grossed her out. I don't know who took care of her, but I doubt that it was me. And it seems like B might have gotten chickenpox at some point as well...you get the drift though, I just ignore it until it goes away, which is how I treat myself.

I am not one to take drugs. My body knows how to fix itself if I am patient. (Although magic oranges are very helpful.) In my opinion, rest and fluids cure a lot of things. Once a long time ago when I was sick, a friend of mine brought me strawberries. Even now when I am sick, in my mind's eye, I see her standing at the kitchen sink hulling them. They were delicous. I am sure the best I have ever tasted. More recently, I have received homemade chicken noodle soup which was incredible and reminded me how really great and health promoting the real thing is! And of course, I can't forget the magic oranges that I received last week...my friend risking life and limb to pick them. Once when I was sick, I called my mom and mother-in-law and asked them to take me to the doctors. They both lived an hour away and couldn't come. Being friendless, I felt reduced to calling my visiting teacher. She had 4 or 5 kids, all little. I will never forget what she said. "What time do you want me to pick you up?" At which point, I collapsed in a pile of grateful tears. I don't think that I have ever needed a visiting teacher as much as I did that day. I need to be more like these good women who have been such wonderful examples to me.

There is a bad side to being sick, but there is also a good side too.

The Bad of IT
I don't sleep very well
My back usually hurts like crazy
I have no energy
And if I absolutely have to try and look presentable...it just isn't possible
The Good of IT
I stay in my beddie until 10.30am talking on the phone
I get a bunch more CD's loaded in my IPOD
Not only is my nose runny, but so are my eyes, which is a blessing because I read for hours on end without getting "dry eye" issues
I am blessed with enough strength to do what I really need to do

And finally, as Lehi teaches Jacob after the bitterness of feeling ill, the sweetness of feeling well again!